A Crisis of Faith

It's easy to lose faith in the people of Goldsboro, North Carolina. When I access my Netflix account, it always tells me which movies are currently popular rentals for my area. It is always, always, the most inane crapuloid I can possibly imagine. I mean, I love big dumb movies as much as the next person, but I'm so tired of seeing every American Pie direct-to-video movie showing up as some kind of "local favorite."

Also appearing:
- any film that features "talking" animals, especially if they play sports, sing and dance, or are secret agents
- any horror re-tread, remake, reboot, or re-imagining
- any film that features an all-black cast, regardless of quality
- any film in which one or more Honda Civics exceed the posted speed limit for monetary gain
- any film featuring a soundtrack that has been ripped from the local Top 40 radio station
- any stupid Oscar-bait

I swear to God this is true: I heard a man in the video store the other day speaking to an associate of his. He rented a movie based on the fact that, and I quote, "The tv commercial said it's good." Seriously. I can't make that up.

Come on, people. Not every movie made these days has to suck.

I'm beginning to fear for the society of our future. I'm afraid that Mike Judge's film "Idiocracy" will eventually be seen as less of a poignant slice of fried comedic gold and more of an eerily prophetic warning that went completely unheeded.

Uh oh, here comes a hobo. Okay, he's gone. At least I was able to tell this hobo that I, too, am unemployed and pretty broke. He gave me a dime that he'd been carrying around. Currency, I mean, not a quantity of drugs. You know you're broke when hoboes give YOU money.

I think I just went from "poor" to "po'".